10 Things I've Learnt From Playing Bioshock 2

Here's a list of ten things I learnt whilst playing Bioshock 2.

1. ADAM is Magic Juice

Apparently ADAM can do some pretty amazing stuff, it can alter your DNA so you can use some pretty cool powers. That's pretty impossible but it's alright, this is a game after all. It can also do some REALLY bullshit stuff too, like put the collective minds of all of Raptures geniuses into the head of one little girl. I'm no geneticist but I'm pretty sure human knowledge isn't stored in peoples DNA. There is a limit of suspense of disbelief you know.


2. Plumbing is Boring

So boring in fact that that all those cameras, gun turrets, flying gun bots and vending machines have gone through a metamorphosis and shed those water pipes in return for a quick time event. Isn't technology amazing?


3. Old Time Video Cameras Have Limitless Film

It's true. They never run out of film. Those film reels just keep going and going and going and going and going.............


4. Big Daddies are Everywhere

How many of them are there? I'm pretty sure they stopped building them when Rapture went to shit. There's Big Daddies walking around without any Little Sisters. They're like big armored cockroaches, you turn a rock over and a group of them scuttle away.


5. Rapture Never Ends

It's supposed to have been a few years since the last game and Rapture is still in one piece, kinda. I know the Big Daddies are repairing the place but come on. The place was falling apart when there was sane mechanics and engineers to fix the place up. Rapture should have been crushed under the weight of the ocean by now.


6. Bosses are for Sissies

Who needs boss fights anymore when you can just fight a few waves of enemies instead. What's that, you do want some bosses? Well ok then, you can have a few. How does a slightly harder version of a normal enemy and a fight with two Big Sister at the same time sound? Not good enough? Sorry but that's all you're getting.


7. Difficulty Curves can go Down as well as Up

You'd expect the final area of the game to be the hardest wouldn't you. Apparently not, you're given the ability to summon a Big Sister to fight with you and you practically have to climb over piles of money, health packs, evos and ammo. Final boss fight? Nope, just waves of enemies.


8. Shooting Yourself in the Head Doesn't Kill You

Well it does but we have these magic machines that can bring people from the dead. Also Big Daddies don't seem to decay in anyway after they die. I'm going to guess that it's done by the bullshit of ADAM.


9. Waiting Times are Boring

Anyone wanting to play the multiplayer I wish you the best of luck. You might want to get out a handheld console so you have something to play while the game sets up the match fixing. Why the game requires there to be at least 6-8 people before a game starts is beyond me.


10. They Were There All Along

Sofia Lamb, the Big Sisters, those new Big Daddy types, those brute Splicers. They were in Rapture all along, you just didn't see or hear anything about them in the first game. They were there all along. Don't ask any questions about it, THEY WERE THERE, OK?