Here's a list of ten things I learnt whilst playing Red Dead Redemption
1. Strangers Are Crazy
Well most of them seem to be. If it's not some crazed religious woman trying to find god in the middle of a wasteland it's some old man living in a swamp with his wife's corpse still sat in her old rocking chair. Must be something in the water.
2. I Like Liars Dice
It's nice Rockstar threw in Poker and Blackjack and a few other little mini-games the the player to gamble on. It allowed me to discover a game called Liars Dice which I'd never even heard of before. Turns out I'm quite good at it and I really enjoy playing it.
3. John Marston is a Terrible Cheater
Whilst wearing the Elegant Suit you gain the ability to cheat at Poker. When you serve the cards you can slip a card from the bottom and hide it up your sleeve. When you get your two proper cards you can then swap out one of the cards for the one you have tucked away. When you make this swap John cleary tucks both his hands under the table to make the swap. People will only notice you cheating if you fail a little quick time event. If I was playing cards with someone and they tucked their arms under the table I'd be yelling bullshit straight away, not checking to see if they can keep a little arrow in the middle of a bar.
4. Bears are Ninjas
It's a fact, everyone knows ninjas evolved from bears. Many a men have gone walking in a mountain wood and have turned a corner only for a bear to appear out of nowhere and claw their face clean off.
5. Trust No One
Oh look, a lady of the night has somehow gotten lost in the wilderness. She begs me for help, I slow my horse to let her get on. She drags me off my horse, jumps on and rides away, calling me names as she goes. A quick bullet to the back stops her. I don't slow down to help anyone who looks lost again.
6. Glitches are Funny
If you've not seen the Donkey Lady or the Coyote Gunslinger or any of the other funny graphical glitches then you need to look them up. Glitches that make a game unbeatable are frustrating, glitches that allow you to ride a woman round like a horse is easily forgiven.
7. Horses are Annoying
I get off my horse to do skin some animals I've just killed or to hogtie a bounty and it pisses off somewhere. I need you horse. I've just heard a cougar growl or some bandits are trying to rescue their friend before I put him in jail. I need to be saddling up and vacating the area asap. You walking away to smell some flowers or some shit doesn't help. Stand when I dismounted you and stay there until I say otherwise. Stupid animal.
8. People Online are Jackasses
You get 10exp for killing another player online. You can also kill anyone, there are no safe zones. This turns everyone into complete and utter arseholes. Trying to go anywhere or do anything is hindered by some arse shooting at you. Fact: People suck.
9. Rockstar Know How to Make a Single Player Game
GTA IV was bad. I don't care what people say, it was bad. It took a silly, over the top franchise and made it overly gritty. You had everyone you had a phone number for calling you up every two second to ask you if you wanted to go bowling or some shit and the movement controls were awful. This made me very dubious of getting RDR but I'm glad I did.
The story was good, gritty but not over the top so. The controls were good, the length was decent and there was alot to do. You had your missions to do but you could also complete challenges, do tasks for strangers, do jobs, gamble on a number of minigames and more. The story was well done and had an ending that left me speechless. Red Deads single player was great and it's shown that GTA IV might have just been a bad one off.
10. Rockstar Can't Do Multiplayer
All the great fun stuff you could do in the single player is gone. What's left is a load of different challenges which are nowhere near as good as the single players and gang hideouts. There's also various pvp types but that's expected. The multiplayer has a levels/exp system which unlocks new mounts, weapons and characters to play as. The system doesn't really work that well as it takes ages to build up your level and the rewards aren't really worth the effort. The system turn the multiplayer into a very weak mmorpg where the only thing to do is grind.
It really doesn't help that the game respawns you about two feet away from where you just died. I ran into a group of four guys who killed me. I respawned right next to them and before I could get take two paces I was shot dead again. This happened a few times before I managed to take three of them down. Guess what. They respawned near me and killed me again. This isn't fun. It manages to make a bad multiplayer experience worse. THe multiplayer as a whole is a pathetic add on to an otherwise great game. For shame Rockstar, for shame.
Thursday, 17 June 2010
Friday, 11 June 2010
Ten Things I Learnt From Playing Final Fantasy XIII
Here's a list of ten things I learnt whilst playing Final Fantasy XIII
1. Linearity can be Good
Alot of people complained about FF XIII being very linear and they're right, it is very linear. That's not however a bad thing, it keep the game focused. It pushes the player through the story without them getting lost or heavily side-tracked. A lot of other rpgs are also very linear but people never complain about it with those games. Why is it such a problem to people in this game? The level design? Aside from the first chapter I didn't think the maps were all that linear.
2. People are Emo about Emos
Hope is such an emo, whine whine whine, all he ever does is cry, whine whine whine, he should just kill himself already.
Honestly? Hope isn't that emo. Sure he's mopey at the start but he's about to be sent away from his home to the world below which he's been told was evil and dangerous his whole life, his mother dies in front of his eyes and he's forced into fate people believe is worse than death. Anyone who isn't a little down after all that probably has something wrong with them.
After a few chapters though he begins a quest to gain strength to face the man he blames for his mother death. That doesn't seem really emo to me, that sounds like self improvement. By chapter 11 he's a determined young man with hope in his heart and a head full of stupid "We can win if we believe" speeches. People just like to complain about characters they don’t like, the whining sods.
3. Nora is a Stupid Name
For a person and even more so for an organisation and a revenge plan.
4. People can go Selectively Gray
Take a look at Snows portrait picture in the main menu. See his hair? Blonde. See his beard? Gray. The stress of Serah becoming a l’Cie was so much it’s prematurely turned his facial hair gray. Wonders never cease.
5. Random Noises are Annoying
Whoa, aaaaah, ooooh. Somebody shut Vanille up please. Let me just say I don’t mind her as a character. I’ve played enough rpgs to be used to kooky characters. She’s no more annoying that Yuffie or Rikku. It’s just those random noises she makes, it grinds on me. To be fair though she seems to really ease up on it after the first few chapters but still, they’re don’t add anything to a scene. Next time Square let’s stop with the high-pitch squeaking unless we’re being attacked by a giant rat ok?
6. Offhand Comments can Change Your Entire World View
There’s a chapter, I forget which, where Lightning and Hope are wondering through the food processing area for Cocoon. They speculate about the fal’Cie plan and how human fit into it. Hope makes an offhand comment that humans are like pets to the fal’Cie. Lightning then flips her shit like Hope just answered the biggest riddle in the universe. She completely changes her view on the situation, decides against her “let’s go kill the fal’Cie or die trying” mentality which drove her thus far and ends Hopes Operation Nora. When the scene ended one word ran through my mind, “What.”
7. Summons are Useless
At least in this they are. The only time I ever used them was to test them and be disappointed and as a cheat way of resurrecting my two fallen teammates. Such a waste of TP.
8. The Magical 20 Hour Mark Doesn’t Exist
Some people said that the game gets good twenty hours into the game. I want to know what this magical twenty hour mark is. Do they mean the start of chapter 11? How was that chapter so much better than the rest? Just because they gave you a big area to spend ages running across and some optional missions to do. If it takes you twenty hours to find a part in the game that you enjoy then you shouldn’t have spent all that time getting up to it and then complain about it later. Go play another game that you enjoy from the get go and save us from your whining. Actually this point leads me onto...
9. People Are Easily Amused
If you are one of the people that thinks the game gets good at chapter 11 then Jesus you are easily amused. All it took was one big open field and some missions that all consist of “Go here and kill this monster”. I was enjoying this game from the get to and actually thought chapter 11 was weak compared to the rest. The story took a back seat until the end of it and I was expecting more out of it. The way people talked about it being open I thought there’d be mini-games and more shit to do. Guess I look silly now.
10. Don’t Let Hope Make Speeches
I cringed whenever he gave some uplifting speech. The speeches themselves were very cliché and it sounded odd coming from the kid instead of the more world experienced adult characters. Compared to Lightnings “We’re here to kill you dead“ speech before the final boss fight Hope just looks like a rank-amateur. Silly Hope.
1. Linearity can be Good
Alot of people complained about FF XIII being very linear and they're right, it is very linear. That's not however a bad thing, it keep the game focused. It pushes the player through the story without them getting lost or heavily side-tracked. A lot of other rpgs are also very linear but people never complain about it with those games. Why is it such a problem to people in this game? The level design? Aside from the first chapter I didn't think the maps were all that linear.
2. People are Emo about Emos
Hope is such an emo, whine whine whine, all he ever does is cry, whine whine whine, he should just kill himself already.
Honestly? Hope isn't that emo. Sure he's mopey at the start but he's about to be sent away from his home to the world below which he's been told was evil and dangerous his whole life, his mother dies in front of his eyes and he's forced into fate people believe is worse than death. Anyone who isn't a little down after all that probably has something wrong with them.
After a few chapters though he begins a quest to gain strength to face the man he blames for his mother death. That doesn't seem really emo to me, that sounds like self improvement. By chapter 11 he's a determined young man with hope in his heart and a head full of stupid "We can win if we believe" speeches. People just like to complain about characters they don’t like, the whining sods.
3. Nora is a Stupid Name
For a person and even more so for an organisation and a revenge plan.
4. People can go Selectively Gray
Take a look at Snows portrait picture in the main menu. See his hair? Blonde. See his beard? Gray. The stress of Serah becoming a l’Cie was so much it’s prematurely turned his facial hair gray. Wonders never cease.
5. Random Noises are Annoying
Whoa, aaaaah, ooooh. Somebody shut Vanille up please. Let me just say I don’t mind her as a character. I’ve played enough rpgs to be used to kooky characters. She’s no more annoying that Yuffie or Rikku. It’s just those random noises she makes, it grinds on me. To be fair though she seems to really ease up on it after the first few chapters but still, they’re don’t add anything to a scene. Next time Square let’s stop with the high-pitch squeaking unless we’re being attacked by a giant rat ok?
6. Offhand Comments can Change Your Entire World View
There’s a chapter, I forget which, where Lightning and Hope are wondering through the food processing area for Cocoon. They speculate about the fal’Cie plan and how human fit into it. Hope makes an offhand comment that humans are like pets to the fal’Cie. Lightning then flips her shit like Hope just answered the biggest riddle in the universe. She completely changes her view on the situation, decides against her “let’s go kill the fal’Cie or die trying” mentality which drove her thus far and ends Hopes Operation Nora. When the scene ended one word ran through my mind, “What.”
7. Summons are Useless
At least in this they are. The only time I ever used them was to test them and be disappointed and as a cheat way of resurrecting my two fallen teammates. Such a waste of TP.
8. The Magical 20 Hour Mark Doesn’t Exist
Some people said that the game gets good twenty hours into the game. I want to know what this magical twenty hour mark is. Do they mean the start of chapter 11? How was that chapter so much better than the rest? Just because they gave you a big area to spend ages running across and some optional missions to do. If it takes you twenty hours to find a part in the game that you enjoy then you shouldn’t have spent all that time getting up to it and then complain about it later. Go play another game that you enjoy from the get go and save us from your whining. Actually this point leads me onto...
9. People Are Easily Amused
If you are one of the people that thinks the game gets good at chapter 11 then Jesus you are easily amused. All it took was one big open field and some missions that all consist of “Go here and kill this monster”. I was enjoying this game from the get to and actually thought chapter 11 was weak compared to the rest. The story took a back seat until the end of it and I was expecting more out of it. The way people talked about it being open I thought there’d be mini-games and more shit to do. Guess I look silly now.
10. Don’t Let Hope Make Speeches
I cringed whenever he gave some uplifting speech. The speeches themselves were very cliché and it sounded odd coming from the kid instead of the more world experienced adult characters. Compared to Lightnings “We’re here to kill you dead“ speech before the final boss fight Hope just looks like a rank-amateur. Silly Hope.
Tuesday, 8 June 2010
10 Things I've Learnt From Playing Tales of Vesperia
Here's a list of ten things I learnt whilst playing Tales of Vesperia.
1. Villains Come and Go
Some games have main villains who are apparent right off the bat. Others make you wait a while. Some games however introduces an apparent main villain, kills them off and introduces another one. Some games do this more than once. Vesperia is the latter.
2. Japanese People Love Characters with Stupid Hair Colours
Estelle has pink hair, Judith has blue hair and Duke is gray despite him looking like he's in his early 20s. What is wrong with blonde, brown, ginger, black and gray (ONLY on old people)?
3. Beware the Pretty Boys
They always turn out to be homicidal. Always.
4. Being in Your 30s Means You're Old
Once you hit the big 30 you're suddenly and old person. Raven is 35 and he acts like a 50+ year old man and people treat him like one. Does Japan have a low mortality rate or something? Once you hit thirty does the little red jem on your hand light up and the Sandmen come and take you away to be killed?
5. It's Killing Us
Those magical McGuffin devices that make the world a nicer place to live in are, somehow, always destroying the world. Always. The only way to save the world is to destroy them all, preferably though some method that somehow manages to fix the damage they've caused. Isn't magic fun?
6. Rita is Broken
Yuri is broken as shown by the infinite combo but that isn't fool proof. Rita on the other hand is the most broken character I've ever seen in a game, even beating out Viola from Eternal Sonata. Blah Blah Blah Tidal Wave!
7. Cities Blow Up
Or raise up out of the ground and fly away. Either way cities are no safe haven from destruction, in fact there's always a high risk chance that one of them is going to blow the fuck up.
8. Fans are Complaining Arses
The game came out on the 360 and it was good. Very good even. A Playstation 3 version was released in Japan some time later. Due to some conflict over distribution rights it doesn't look like the PS3 version is ever going to be released outside of Japan. Cue fanboy complaining.
What's worse is that some clever spark took a look at the code of the 360 version and found that certain piece of code were written in as place holders for things that were then added as extra into the PS3 version. Cue the calls of the uninformed saying that the 360 version is "incomplete". This is how games are programmed people, there's code like this in most games these days. The 360 version is complete.
9. If It's Popular Enough You Can Milk It For More
Around the time the Japanese PS3 version was released so too was a feature length film called Tales of Vesperia: The First Strike. The movie is a prequel following the main character during his time as a knight which is mentioned a few time in the game. For the life of me I can't see the point of this other than to make more money. Sure it helps give more insight into the world and Yuri's life but I don't need to know about his past to still really enjoy the game.
10. Namco Bandai are Useless at Releasing Tales Games
Here's an experiment. Go to your local game retailer and look through the stands and try to find a copy of this game. Did you find one? If you did how many copies were there? Out of the four, FOUR, game stores in the city were I went to university I've only ever seen one copy of the game for sale that that was a used copy that showed up 2-3 months back. I had to buy this game online when it first came out.
Here's a second experiment. Now look to see how many other "Tales of" series games you can find. Did you even reach double digits? Well done if you did. The Tales series has a fan following in the west that is growing day by day but finding copies of games is stupidly hard unless you do it online. I'm still after a copy of Abyss and the GBA Phantasia. Some of the Tales games only get Japanese releases, those that do get released to the west aren't always released in Europe. Being a UK resident this is doubly annoying to me. Namco Bandai say they don't release all the games outside of Japan because they don't really sell that well. No shit, they don't sell well because you have to really look for copies of the games. Try releasing more of the series and distributing more copies and see how well they sell then.
1. Villains Come and Go
Some games have main villains who are apparent right off the bat. Others make you wait a while. Some games however introduces an apparent main villain, kills them off and introduces another one. Some games do this more than once. Vesperia is the latter.
2. Japanese People Love Characters with Stupid Hair Colours
Estelle has pink hair, Judith has blue hair and Duke is gray despite him looking like he's in his early 20s. What is wrong with blonde, brown, ginger, black and gray (ONLY on old people)?
3. Beware the Pretty Boys
They always turn out to be homicidal. Always.
4. Being in Your 30s Means You're Old
Once you hit the big 30 you're suddenly and old person. Raven is 35 and he acts like a 50+ year old man and people treat him like one. Does Japan have a low mortality rate or something? Once you hit thirty does the little red jem on your hand light up and the Sandmen come and take you away to be killed?
5. It's Killing Us
Those magical McGuffin devices that make the world a nicer place to live in are, somehow, always destroying the world. Always. The only way to save the world is to destroy them all, preferably though some method that somehow manages to fix the damage they've caused. Isn't magic fun?
6. Rita is Broken
Yuri is broken as shown by the infinite combo but that isn't fool proof. Rita on the other hand is the most broken character I've ever seen in a game, even beating out Viola from Eternal Sonata. Blah Blah Blah Tidal Wave!
7. Cities Blow Up
Or raise up out of the ground and fly away. Either way cities are no safe haven from destruction, in fact there's always a high risk chance that one of them is going to blow the fuck up.
8. Fans are Complaining Arses
The game came out on the 360 and it was good. Very good even. A Playstation 3 version was released in Japan some time later. Due to some conflict over distribution rights it doesn't look like the PS3 version is ever going to be released outside of Japan. Cue fanboy complaining.
What's worse is that some clever spark took a look at the code of the 360 version and found that certain piece of code were written in as place holders for things that were then added as extra into the PS3 version. Cue the calls of the uninformed saying that the 360 version is "incomplete". This is how games are programmed people, there's code like this in most games these days. The 360 version is complete.
9. If It's Popular Enough You Can Milk It For More
Around the time the Japanese PS3 version was released so too was a feature length film called Tales of Vesperia: The First Strike. The movie is a prequel following the main character during his time as a knight which is mentioned a few time in the game. For the life of me I can't see the point of this other than to make more money. Sure it helps give more insight into the world and Yuri's life but I don't need to know about his past to still really enjoy the game.
10. Namco Bandai are Useless at Releasing Tales Games
Here's an experiment. Go to your local game retailer and look through the stands and try to find a copy of this game. Did you find one? If you did how many copies were there? Out of the four, FOUR, game stores in the city were I went to university I've only ever seen one copy of the game for sale that that was a used copy that showed up 2-3 months back. I had to buy this game online when it first came out.
Here's a second experiment. Now look to see how many other "Tales of" series games you can find. Did you even reach double digits? Well done if you did. The Tales series has a fan following in the west that is growing day by day but finding copies of games is stupidly hard unless you do it online. I'm still after a copy of Abyss and the GBA Phantasia. Some of the Tales games only get Japanese releases, those that do get released to the west aren't always released in Europe. Being a UK resident this is doubly annoying to me. Namco Bandai say they don't release all the games outside of Japan because they don't really sell that well. No shit, they don't sell well because you have to really look for copies of the games. Try releasing more of the series and distributing more copies and see how well they sell then.
10 Things I've Learnt From Playing Bioshock 2
Here's a list of ten things I learnt whilst playing Bioshock 2.
1. ADAM is Magic Juice
Apparently ADAM can do some pretty amazing stuff, it can alter your DNA so you can use some pretty cool powers. That's pretty impossible but it's alright, this is a game after all. It can also do some REALLY bullshit stuff too, like put the collective minds of all of Raptures geniuses into the head of one little girl. I'm no geneticist but I'm pretty sure human knowledge isn't stored in peoples DNA. There is a limit of suspense of disbelief you know.
2. Plumbing is Boring
So boring in fact that that all those cameras, gun turrets, flying gun bots and vending machines have gone through a metamorphosis and shed those water pipes in return for a quick time event. Isn't technology amazing?
3. Old Time Video Cameras Have Limitless Film
It's true. They never run out of film. Those film reels just keep going and going and going and going and going.............
4. Big Daddies are Everywhere
How many of them are there? I'm pretty sure they stopped building them when Rapture went to shit. There's Big Daddies walking around without any Little Sisters. They're like big armored cockroaches, you turn a rock over and a group of them scuttle away.
5. Rapture Never Ends
It's supposed to have been a few years since the last game and Rapture is still in one piece, kinda. I know the Big Daddies are repairing the place but come on. The place was falling apart when there was sane mechanics and engineers to fix the place up. Rapture should have been crushed under the weight of the ocean by now.
6. Bosses are for Sissies
Who needs boss fights anymore when you can just fight a few waves of enemies instead. What's that, you do want some bosses? Well ok then, you can have a few. How does a slightly harder version of a normal enemy and a fight with two Big Sister at the same time sound? Not good enough? Sorry but that's all you're getting.
7. Difficulty Curves can go Down as well as Up
You'd expect the final area of the game to be the hardest wouldn't you. Apparently not, you're given the ability to summon a Big Sister to fight with you and you practically have to climb over piles of money, health packs, evos and ammo. Final boss fight? Nope, just waves of enemies.
8. Shooting Yourself in the Head Doesn't Kill You
Well it does but we have these magic machines that can bring people from the dead. Also Big Daddies don't seem to decay in anyway after they die. I'm going to guess that it's done by the bullshit of ADAM.
9. Waiting Times are Boring
Anyone wanting to play the multiplayer I wish you the best of luck. You might want to get out a handheld console so you have something to play while the game sets up the match fixing. Why the game requires there to be at least 6-8 people before a game starts is beyond me.
10. They Were There All Along
Sofia Lamb, the Big Sisters, those new Big Daddy types, those brute Splicers. They were in Rapture all along, you just didn't see or hear anything about them in the first game. They were there all along. Don't ask any questions about it, THEY WERE THERE, OK?
1. ADAM is Magic Juice
Apparently ADAM can do some pretty amazing stuff, it can alter your DNA so you can use some pretty cool powers. That's pretty impossible but it's alright, this is a game after all. It can also do some REALLY bullshit stuff too, like put the collective minds of all of Raptures geniuses into the head of one little girl. I'm no geneticist but I'm pretty sure human knowledge isn't stored in peoples DNA. There is a limit of suspense of disbelief you know.
2. Plumbing is Boring
So boring in fact that that all those cameras, gun turrets, flying gun bots and vending machines have gone through a metamorphosis and shed those water pipes in return for a quick time event. Isn't technology amazing?
3. Old Time Video Cameras Have Limitless Film
It's true. They never run out of film. Those film reels just keep going and going and going and going and going.............
4. Big Daddies are Everywhere
How many of them are there? I'm pretty sure they stopped building them when Rapture went to shit. There's Big Daddies walking around without any Little Sisters. They're like big armored cockroaches, you turn a rock over and a group of them scuttle away.
5. Rapture Never Ends
It's supposed to have been a few years since the last game and Rapture is still in one piece, kinda. I know the Big Daddies are repairing the place but come on. The place was falling apart when there was sane mechanics and engineers to fix the place up. Rapture should have been crushed under the weight of the ocean by now.
6. Bosses are for Sissies
Who needs boss fights anymore when you can just fight a few waves of enemies instead. What's that, you do want some bosses? Well ok then, you can have a few. How does a slightly harder version of a normal enemy and a fight with two Big Sister at the same time sound? Not good enough? Sorry but that's all you're getting.
7. Difficulty Curves can go Down as well as Up
You'd expect the final area of the game to be the hardest wouldn't you. Apparently not, you're given the ability to summon a Big Sister to fight with you and you practically have to climb over piles of money, health packs, evos and ammo. Final boss fight? Nope, just waves of enemies.
8. Shooting Yourself in the Head Doesn't Kill You
Well it does but we have these magic machines that can bring people from the dead. Also Big Daddies don't seem to decay in anyway after they die. I'm going to guess that it's done by the bullshit of ADAM.
9. Waiting Times are Boring
Anyone wanting to play the multiplayer I wish you the best of luck. You might want to get out a handheld console so you have something to play while the game sets up the match fixing. Why the game requires there to be at least 6-8 people before a game starts is beyond me.
10. They Were There All Along
Sofia Lamb, the Big Sisters, those new Big Daddy types, those brute Splicers. They were in Rapture all along, you just didn't see or hear anything about them in the first game. They were there all along. Don't ask any questions about it, THEY WERE THERE, OK?
About This Blog
Hi all and welcome. This is a brief "about" post saying what the point of this blog is. Basically I play alot of games and I learn the odd thing or two (or ten) from them. This blog is a dumping ground for the various facts or observations I've gathered from playing various games and looking at peoples responses to said games online.
I hope you enjoy reading these posts.
Shoes/adventlife
I hope you enjoy reading these posts.
Shoes/adventlife
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